4 Common Misconceptions About Perfectionism
精彩的人往往都不是完美主義者
完美主義者往往成為
all or Nothing
Bernie Browns的定義
她說完美主義者是一個相信如果我只是把所有事情都做得很完美，
看起來很完美，我就可以避免羞恥、拒絕、判斷和責備等所有這些負面情緒的痛苦。
所以完美主義不是完美的人都有的。
我也只是想提一些關於成長型思維方式的東西，經常被誤解。
而當我第一次聽到它的時候，只是為了以防萬一，
你第一次聽到成長型心態的時候，我想，
我肯定是有成長型心態的，
比如我對個人發展肯定是癡迷的。
就像我總是在想，你知道的，成長，進化，提高自己等等。
But the growth mindset doesn't have anything to do with your interest in personal development books, or podcasts or anything like that, or how much information you're consuming or even how much you're applying.
但成長心態與你對個人發展書籍的興趣，
或播客或類似的東西沒有任何關係，
也與你消耗了多少資訊，
甚至與你應用了多少資訊無關。
The growth mindset is about your view of the world. And your fixed mindset is about your view of the world. So and perfectionists have a fixed mindset.
成長型思維模式是關於你對世界的看法。
而你的固定心態是關於你對世界的看法。
所以和完美主義者有固定的心態。
It really means a lot of times, like holding ourselves to a certain standard and integrity, I'm not talking about with perfectionism, we have these insanely high standards that we never have any chance of living up to, and we go, Well, fuck it, I can never do that. I'm just not going to try it all.
它真的意味著很多時候，比如以某種標準和完整性來要求自己，我不是在談論完美主義，我們有這些瘋狂的高標準，我們從來沒有任何機會達到，然後我們去，好吧，他媽的，我永遠做不到。我只是不打算嘗試這一切。
But instead, to have integrity with ourselves, and to really encourage that compassion and showing up and doing the best we can and praising ourselves for putting in an effort and praising ourselves for being courageous and praising ourselves for giving it a go.
但相反，要對自己有誠信，並真正鼓勵這種同情心，表現出來，盡我們所能，讚揚自己付出努力，讚揚自己有勇氣，讚揚自己給它一個機會。
And really getting that satisfaction from the journey and from the process and from the evolution. Rather than believing as we do.
並真正從旅程中、從過程中、從演變中得到滿足。而不是像我們這樣相信。
When we're in the perfectionist mindset, I'll feel better when I achieve this certain result, then, of course, we achieve the result by the time we get that it's, we completely diminish it in our own mind. 我們說實際上，不，是下一件事。這是下一件事，這是下一件事，我們幾乎沒有，比如，我們不曾欣賞我們所擁有的。所以我們也不欣賞我們得到的東西。
That's a really interesting thing about perfection has been scared to let go of this mindset. because there'll be less successful, the perfectionist don't enjoy their success. They barely even experience their success, because they achieve something and they're already telling themselves, well, that isn't good enough, I need to do this next thing.
這是一個非常有趣的事情，關於完美一直害怕放開這種心態。 因為會有更少的成功，完美主義者不享受他們的成功。他們甚至幾乎沒有體驗到他們的成功，因為他們取得了一些成就，他們已經在告訴自己，嗯，這還不夠好，我需要做這下一件事。
And I'm going to feel so good when I get there. And I can see in PTSD. So many of you guys are saying all my life will be better when I achieve this impossible goal. But it's really about understanding that your life will be better when you can enjoy that process and let it be okay that you might not achieve it.
當我到達那裡時，我會感覺非常好。而且我可以看到在創傷後應激障礙中。你們中的許多人都在說，當我實現這個不可能的目標時，我的生活都會變得更好。但實際上是要理解，當你能享受這個過程，並讓你可能無法實現它，你的生活就會更好。
But you're going to strive towards it anyway, because of the byproducts that come from effort and resilience and practicing being determined, and practicing being committed. And if you can appreciate where you are every step along that journey, then you will also be able to appreciate when you achieve the goal that where am I like oh no, I can't let myself feel happy until I'm successful.
但無論如何你都要努力實現它，因為努力和復原力以及練習決心和練習承諾所帶來的副產品。如果你能欣賞你在這個旅程中的每一步，那麼你也將能夠欣賞當你實現目標時，我在哪裡，哦不，我不能讓自己感到高興，直到我成功。
Because if I let myself feel happy因為如果我讓自己感到快樂
I won't be successful. And I won't be able to feel happy in the future. But we literally deny ourselves happiness. By thinking that way, we never actually appreciate what we have, which means we never appreciate what we get either. And then we end up living this very unsatisfying life where we are actually achieving things, and do have that opportunity to get that sense of accomplishment.
我不會成功。而且我將無法在未來感到幸福。但是，我們從字面上否認了自己的幸福。通過這樣的思考，我們從未真正欣賞我們所擁有的，這意味著我們也從未欣賞我們所得到的。然後我們最終過著這種非常不滿意的生活，在這種生活中，我們實際上正在實現一些事情，並且確實有機會獲得那種成就感。
But we deny ourselves of that, because we think it's motivational to not praise ourselves. When if you think about how we talk to a friend or encourage a friend, we are kind to them. And we say keep going. This is amazing, you should be proud of yourself. And yet we think that if we say that to ourselves, we'll just sit on the couch and do nothing like it makes no sense. But we've just been conditioned and have had those thoughts so many times that the best motivator is guilt and punishment. And I need to feel bad in order to then make myself feel good in the future, which obviously is backwards and makes no sense. But I'm not saying there's a problem with having that set of beliefs. It's just important to see like, there's nothing to be ashamed about. There's nothing wrong with me.
但是我們否認自己，因為我們認為不讚美自己是有動力的。如果你想一想我們是如何與朋友交談或鼓勵朋友的，我們對他們很友善。我們說繼續前進。這很了不起，你應該為自己感到驕傲。然而，我們認為，如果我們對自己說這些，我們就會坐在沙發上，什麼也不做，好像沒有意義。但我們只是被調教過，而且有那麼多次這樣的想法，最好的動機是內疚和懲罰。而我需要感覺不好，以便然後讓自己在未來感覺良好，這顯然是倒退的，沒有意義。但我並不是說擁有這套信念有什麼問題。重要的是要看到，沒有什麼可羞愧的。我沒有什麼問題。
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